Something that I have really noticed as a change, is my level of energy in certain things.
I come from a long line of introverts. We enjoy helping people to a point but then we must go home and escape. Every introvert needs some time away from the masses to rejuvenate, but in excess it can consume and isolate them to the detriment of themselves and others.
My Grandfather, even long after he stopped working sat on the porch and read for hours to the point of neglect of meaningful connections. My uncle buried himself in online role playing for several hours every night to the neglect of meaningful relationship with his family. And there are others that continue the family tradition of going home and burying themselves in TV, or the computer, or book to "unwind and rest" because they say they are too tired, as time flies and kids grow, and meaningful moments are lost.
Don't get me wrong, I loved my Grandfather for so many wonderful things we shared and he taught me, and for my uncle as well. I too struggle with wanting to come home and hide in my TV shows or games on my phone. But I see how this trait over time keeps us buried in our tiredness and not really living the life God so wants for us.
It's not that I don't get tired. I do. It's not that I don't watch TV anymore or read books. I do. But I am realizing, that as I turn myself in prayer and worship every day to God, my energy for other things go up despite my day full of people at work.
God has everything we need. I like to think that He has this humongous bowl of crazy awesomeness He wants to give people that need Him. All we have to do is ask and He takes out his big spoon and fills up our cups with like some really yummy Red Bull with a twist of the Holy Spirit. :) I'm sure it's not Red Bull but you get the picture.
One thing, that has been hard for me is serving others in need like going to a nursing home to sing, or making packages for the homeless, or doing soup kitchen. I always knew I "should do it" but I never really wanted to. It made me tired just thinking about it. Talking to my neighbors or even giving time to my nieces or nephews after a day at work was like pulling teeth.
God got out His spoon and filled my cup at moments when I just didn't think I'd have it in me. The more I ask for Him to change me the more I relish in helping others and being open to what opportunity may come my way, that I used to dread.
It becomes addicting watching God work. I just provide the vessel; He does the miracles. I could of had the roughest night with only 3 hours of sleep and no coffee in the house, and I can walk into a room to see a pt. and BoooYAH! God works! I'm not sure exactly what I said or did and the pt. is crying and thanking me for saying the exact thing she needed to hear to encourage her in her illness.
The old me would have been already thinking about lunch, in my head, criticizing the women's outfit that looked like it hadn't been washed for a few weeks, and thinking why in the world was she wearing flip flops in January, seriously?. I would be distant, try to be polite, and couldn't wait till the evaluation was over so I could attend to me and my tired self.
We are truly His hands and feet to the world, but not because we muster up something inside of us. We are able to be, because God gives us the energy and the heart to see people through His eyes. And then as we see Him work we want to see more and more throughout our day touching hearts and growing meaningful relationships for eternity!
I love this song from Steven Curtis Chapman called Lord of The Dance. The chorus words are:
I am the heart, You are the heart beat
I am the eyes, You are the sight
And I see clearly, I am just a body You are the life
I move my feet, I go through the motions
But You give purpose to chance
I am the dancer, You are the Lord of the dance
I love the line:
I go through the motions, but You give purpose to chance
God give purpose to our daily " by chance" interactions, and we are blown away by the love that pours out to others because we let God work in us. Not only to the person we are with, but on us too. It gives energy and makes us want more of Him.
I'm kinda liking this not being tired not having to escape thing. You should try it! ;)
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