Mrs. Almighty

My best friend had her baby on the 23rd!  I'm very happy for her! Her little guy is super cute and her husband is beaming with pride! I look at the picture of her little one and there is a little ache in the back of my heart, because I long for a little one too to call my own and husband that beams with pride.  But instead of this feeling overwhelming me this time and loosing myself in sorrow for a couple days.....Which normally happens..... I weathered it well thanks to God!  

Feeling sad and taking some time to grieve disappointment on my own would be normal and fine.  It is understandable that a woman almost 40 that has not found these things and wanted them since she was old enough to dream it, would be sad and struggle watching all her friends get them.  It's not that I don't struggle.  But my God is lifting me up, and that is becoming more and more outweighing the disappointment of not getting my dreams in this world.  

One time my friend from church texted me. "Aren't you so glad God is your husband"  I very nicely said to her that this was I hard thing to swallow as a single and I didn't know how to answer that question.  She is married with kids and was, I'm sure just trying to be encouraging.  She doesn't really have a concept of the pain that a single woman my age goes through.  I love her dearly and grateful she was trying to help, but I just couldn't swallow that text.

Sometimes the Holiday's can be hard for singles.  At least maybe ones like me that aren't very extroverted.  Mainly because everyone draws close to family an their significant others and belong to someone.  Of course there is parents and brother's and sisters, but this age (almost 40) most people have their own families (husband kids etc)  This can make it feel lonely for those of us that haven't gotten there yet.  

This year has been a little different, for the despite the ache in the back of my heart, I read these verses the very next day.

Isaiah 54:1-5

"“Sing, barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,”
says the Lord.
 “Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.
 For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
your descendants will dispossess nations
and settle in their desolate cities.
 “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
 For your Maker is your husband —
the Lord Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth."  NIV

My heart was so moved....... And for once I realized for the first time that I could truly say with my whole heart "Amen" to the fact my Maker was my husband.  I have begun to realize through this journey with God, over the last 2 years, that God blesses me with many kids around me and not just literal kids (nieces and nephews) but other kids of faith to shower love on.  

So OF COURSE enlarge my tent and lengthen the cords and strengthen my stakes!  Multiply community and grow the kids of God in faith!  

I'm sure there are many ways these verses could speak to this and many other things, but for me this day, it gave me comfort and spoke directly to my heart.   

So I texted my friend that had less than a year ago texted me about God being my husband and told her that I finally could say "Amen".   My dear sweet friend texted me back "Then according to Isaiah you are Mrs. Almighty!" Tears streamed down my face and my heart filled with the warmth of love from My Husband, savior, and redeemer.  How right she is.  How special it is!

I hope in some way that this encourages those of you out there that can relate to these feelings.  We may be barren, according to the world, left with nothing of our own as per this earth standards.  The reality is we can be more fruitful and have more kids than we could ever give birth to, and have a husband so proud of us we get to be Mrs. Almighty!  Almighty in Him! Our Redeemer the God of All the Earth!.  

So hang in there my sisters and look to Him! Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. He will make you His pride and joy and multiple your gifts and kids over and over!  So Sing, Burst into Song, Shout for Joy, and do not hold back!  The Lord will bless!  

Love to you!

Kori

Every Good Gift is for You!

This season is soooooooo busy, and for me,  this year is even more so because I'm driving farther to work than usual.  So this is  why I haven't blogged for a week or so.  But along with that, I have had a big storm in my life as well. 

Those of you that have read my blog from the beginning, know that there is a big rift in my family.  Two sides that, over something small, have been at odds for almost 2 years.  This makes the Holiday's harder for me being in the middle trying to be family to both sides.  This combined with a huge communication problem at work has consumed my thinking over the last week and a half.  

Sometimes when I get my head wrapped around some things, it is so hard to let go of them.  I'm a problem solver by nature and long for harmony, so I get trapped sometimes in circular thinking of conversations and words that could be said or things to do to bring back balance.  Sometimes they are good ideas and sometimes they are not because they come out of a place of anger and frustration. 

Both work and family things, I brought before God and asked for answers of what I should say or if I should say anything.  I desperately wanted God to write in the sky for me.  Now in saying this, whether I want to admit it or not at the moment, there is another part of me that secretly hopes God doesn't answer so I can do what I want to do.  However, in the past I have made that mistake and had everything blow up severely in my face and destroy relationships.  So I'm learning but the waiting is miserable sometimes and I start feeling that God has forgotten me.

I was feeling so much this way.  I wanted God's answer and to hear Him telling me the best way to go.  The work situation I kind of waited and then took over some. Part way through, I begged God to help.  It worked out but went rough.  And the family one,  God never gave me the green light to speak and I waited in agony feeling awful, trying to not loose faith in His love and desire to speak to me.  

Sometimes in situations like these I am so blinded!  He was speaking to me all along trying to show me He was there.  Someone that I rarely talk to texted me and told me they missed me, one of my pt.'s looked right at me and told me I was so pretty, others at church that I normally don't talk with that often, came to talk with me.  All these things, signs, God mobilizing the world around me to reach me in my pain.  Then last night, I learned the very family member I wanted to talk to was already making an effort to mend fences in the family!  Without any word or effort on my part, God working.

How easily I forget..... but I'm learning..... Every Good and Perfect Gift is from God!

•  James 1:17 - " Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows" NIV

Everyone that opens the door for you, everyone that smiles at you, everyone that lets you merge in crazy traffic, every flower, every hug, every warm bed and cup of coffee, heartwarming tune.....ALL of it!  Is God taking a moment to whisper He loves you and has not forgotten you!  

He does not say to us "I love you today..... but don't know about tomorrow"  He does not change in His affection for us!  The devil tries to make us believe those lies, with the struggles on this earth, but God does not change.  And Every Good Thing is a direct message of Love to YOU from Him!  He is Always Faithful! Even when answers don't seem clear, there are signs He is there.

So I hope this Christmas you will look around you and see with your heart how much God loves you and is telling YOU, through Every Good and Perfect Gift He gives you this season and always! 

God Bless :) 

And God Be Forever Praised for all He gives and has given!

Kori

Something Magnificent!

 

Something you may not know about me is that I am a woodworker on the side.  It is a hobby of mine.  I love making furniture. Especially cabinets, shelves, beds, and dressers. I'm not a master at it but I love it! :)  It is so fun to create things and make someone happy!  

Most of you may know I have been thinking a lot lately about wanting to be more fruitful in my walk with God and hear His voice better.  Sometimes.... Okay lets be honest.... most times I'm super impatient.  I long to move forward and get to the next step.  I have a hard time living in the particular phase I am in with God. 

Lately, my mind has been floating onto the idea of sanding.  I know it sounds a little silly.  But as a woodworker, sanding is one of the most important parts of a good project.  It is definitely not the most fun part of a project, but it is necessary for a project to look good. Maybe there is some woodworker out there that could sand all day and be in heaven, but for me, it is the proverbial "pulling teeth" part of the job. :D    

The things that make it so awful is that it kicks up dust, it takes a very long time, and if you don't do your steps right you might have to start over.  Plus I have to wear a mask and glasses to protect my eyes and lungs.   Boooo!  :(    LOL :)   You can tell I just love it can't you?  :D  

Now power tools help and make the job somewhat faster, but it is still a tedious job, and they come with their own set of precautions. 

One thing that has stood out to me about sanding, is that if I go to fast or don't pay attention it is easy to damage or ruin a project.  It takes fineness and time, but if you do it right, the finished product is Magnificent!  Your clear coat or stain or paint goes on so much easier and the project shines!

It's kind of like God working on us.  We want to get to the Magnificent stage like yesterday. :) At least that is me.  But building character and a relationship is a delicate time consuming thing.  When done too fast hearts are broken and spirits damaged.  And like in sanding each stage is important. 

If I have a project and it has some scratches or gouges in the wood, I have to start with a course grain sandpaper and slowly work my way up to a finer sand paper to get the right finish.  The courser sand paper digs away at the imperfections across the whole surface and evenly removes the flaws.  If I try and go at them with a fine sandpaper and just spot sand, I will end up with a divot in the wood and it will take forever.  I will create and even bigger problem.  Because if I leave the divot and go ahead and put my stain or clear coat on, that divot will stand out like a sore thumb.  

I know this analogy might be a little obvious or parochial, and you may have seen it coming around the corner before I got to this point in the post.  But sometimes these simple truths hold more impact than the elaborate dissertation. 

I find it fascinating all the parallels God puts in our world to point us back to Him, and to help us understand how He works on us to produce the beautiful creation and relationship He intended.  This sandpaper in our lives, trials, frustrations, waiting, grow us, refine us, and make us stronger.  Sanding is long and tedious and yes ... painful.... but we don't have to be afraid of it.  We can rest knowing that God is working in us and making us into something Magnificent!  

This next verse is one of my favorites and I have probably quoted it before, but the message rings true always.

•      James 1:2-4 - "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything"NIV

So this whole analogy helps remind me that when I start getting frustrated that things are not moving fast enough in my walk with God, that I need to remember every good thing takes time.  God gives me just what I need for right now.  Whatever, I'm going through right now, however painful, is shaping me slowly but surely into what God intended me to be.

So I can be joyful in the pain...... Yes.... you heard me right.  That is what the verse says.  How would we handle our trails and frustrations differently if we really believed that God was shaping us into something Magnificent?  We would be excited right? Or at least WAY easier to endure. If we could see the end result we would fall over in Awe and Utter Amazement!

I repeat this again because it is sooooo important to remember in the Christian  walk.... It is not what is happening outside us that matters..... It is what is happening inside our hearts that matters.  So through the "sanding" we can still have joy and rest in God working out His good for our lives.

So I'm going to try to lay down my frustration today and remember to rest in Him knowing this time is going to turn me into something and someone God intended all along. Something Shining and Magnificent!  What about you?   Lets do it together!  With Joy! :)

 

Counterfeit or the Real Thing?

So I have been thinking a lot lately about how we as Christians can see and hear God better.  Mainly because I struggle to know I hear God sometimes especially when it relates to others.  An example would be knowing when to ask someone about their walk with God or if they know Jesus. It is easier for me to think I hear God when it relates to Him encouraging me.  

This world is so distracting.  Our environment is flooded with noise everywhere.  There is constant vying for our attention from someone.  The radio, TV, movies, advertizements, news.... a never ending stream of entertainment and information thrown at us.  

Over time my longing to be used by God goes up.  However, I feel this tension in me where the desire is there but because I don't really know when God is speaking sometimes. I feel at a loss.  I feel I miss opportunities to share Jesus.  I don't want to fall back into old habits and patterns.  I want to get more and more in tune so when God says move, I move, and when He says speak, I speak, and when He says Go, I go without hesitation because I know his voice.  I don't want to stay stuck in this land of doing what I think is right and comfortable for me. 

How do we hear Him better?  How do we know when it is someone else or our own sinful nature taking over telling us what we should do?

Well, driving to work the other day I started thinking about my cousin and how she used to work for a bank.  If I remember correctly, my aunt was saying that part of her training was to learn how to recognize counterfeit money.  I was intrigued so I asked more of how she learns this.  My aunt said she thought it was interesting because they never had her focus on the possible examples of counterfeit bills, they only had her focus on the real thing.  By spending time focused on the real bills after a while when a fake one came through she could tell just by the feel of the bill because she was so in tune with the real thing. 

Then the verse  in Philippians came to to mind. 

• Philippians 4:8 - "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things" NIV

These things spoke to me.  What I focus on helps me to know when it is God and when it is something else. In this world it is hard to do this and I struggle quite a bit to break free of things that are not part of the above list in Philippians.  If I fill my mind with things not good like the list of entertainment full of stories and songs of death, betrayal, and all other things, how do I hear God?  Of course I get confused and don't know whether i hear God.

By considering this, there are probably some hard decisions and sacrifices I have to make to really do this.  If I do only what is comfortable in my walk with God, is it really walking with God? God is saying "Lets clear the path between us so we can communicate better"  "I have so much to tell you and show you" " Let me help to remove this clutter so you can hear me"

Honestly..... I'm afraid of letting  go of some of these things.  I lean on them to feel comfortable.  But I see how they eat away at my relationship with God and keep me from really hearing Him in the crucial moments sometimes.  But I don't want to get stuck.... I want to keep moving forward with God.

Now is the time to really trust and let go and focus on the Real Thing so I know what is counterfeit.  I need to get serious.... This is not a game.... this is about God saving lives working through me.

Are we ready.... are we focused on the Real and Only True God? Are we filling our minds and spirits with Good, Noble , Lovely, Admirable things or do we let our desires run free to gobble up whatever feels good at the moment?  All those things will eventually destroy us!  Do you hear me?  Destroy us from the inside out to the point we can no longer hear our loving Savior.

It is not easy to let go of these things but guess what?..... If we call on Him, He can pull us out and help us focus on Him.  He is our strength.  Look to Him! Choose Him! Ask Him to free you!

God Bless and Free us all to hear Him more in our lives Amen!