Trust Me

My heart has been hurting a lot lately. There are times in each of our lives that we feel down or discouraged. I feel the pain of a couple of close people to me.  I identify with their suffering and questions.  I long to reach them but they barrier themselves up because of their pain or disappointment.  They can only see their pain they cannot see past it.

Boy do I identify with these feelings.  I have been several times in places where all I could see was my suffering.  I had no idea the damage my own suffering was causing to those around me.  Anyone that tired to help I would fight and argue with  because I was too afraid to let anyone touch that wounded part of me. But deep down I longed to be set free and be healed. 

I know what awful games the devil plays with our minds and even still I find myself getting stuck in these patterns of thinking starting to believe the lies he spins for us. "No one will understand you" "you'll never be good enough" "Everyone thinks you're crazy" "God loves them more than you" "If you tell them how you feel, they will leave you"

Ever heard those lines before?

My heart just aches for these loved ones and for the wake of destruction this kind of thinking is doing in their lives.  I have tried to talk with them but they still seem so stuck.  

So this last couple weeks I have just cried and cried over it. I long for God to step in and wake up their hearts to see His love and a way out.  But it seems that things just get worse and more people are getting hurt.  It seems as if all my prayers are in vain and nothing breaks through. 

It is hard in times like these for me to keep the faith.  I feel God saying to me just keep trusting me. I just want to say like David saying "How long oh Lord!"  But you know what I love about David... He was so honest about his feelings to God and just laid them at God's feet.  In the end he always found hope in His loving God. Psalms 13 is one of my favorites.

"How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
 Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
 and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
 I will sing the Lord ’s praise,
for he has been good to me" NIV

In some way God speaks to David and reminds him of all He had done  for David and says "Trust Me, Remember all the times I have been good to you, just trust me"  David remembers and says. Despite what I see and feel "I will trust in your unfailing love......for he has been good to me"

Psalms has a way of soothing my soul in rough times. It helps me to see I can be totally honest with God and tell Him how I feel.  I don't have to pretend with Him.   When I lay these burdens at His feet, He will lift me up and remind me to hang on and trust Him because of all He has done and His unfailing love.

Now my heart still hurts and I will keep longing for these loved ones,  but God reminds me that He has unfailing love not just for me but for my loved ones as well. That He has not forgotten my prayers or missed one tear I've cried. He gently whispers "Trust Me" " Remember what I've done in the past for you and trust me"

Many of you, I know struggle with much harder things than this. God see's everything we go through and His heart breaks too for the things sin does to us in this world. He longs for us to reach out to Him in everything with total honesty of heart. He knows He is the only one that can save us from this world of sin and pain.  He holds out His hand and says "trust me, I know it seems unbearable but trust me" "I am your hope and your salvation. My love is unfailing! I will lift you up!"

God knows that if we will chose to trust Him, we will have peace. If we chose to believe what He promises and has shown us over and over again in His actions of sacrifice and love, we can have peace!  It may not change the longing but now it can be cradled in hope in our loving God!

So this morning I'm reminded to lay this pain and fear for my loved ones down at God's feet. Reminded of my God's love for me i relax a little. I chose to trust Him, even as I type this entry and make this decision to believe in my God over what I feel and see, peace is washing over me. 

It is an interesting thing choice. Choice must come first sometimes before the peace.

So lay your heart out to God in your struggles, whatever they might be.  He sees you and hears you and so longs to draw close. He wants to give you hope in the midst of your suffering.  Reach to Him and know His unfailing love!  He has not forgotten you or hidden His face. Choose to trust Him and you will find peace.

So Worth Waiting For!!!

Do you ever struggle with waiting?  LOL :) silly question right? 

We wait a lot in our day don't we? We wait in traffic, we wait for the bus, we wait in line at the grocery store, we wait in the drive thru.  There really is no end to the waiting we do.

Some things are easier to wait for than others. So for me waiting for the small things are sometimes harder than for the big things.  Like I nearly go bonkers over the slow lady in traffic, but I wait with bated breath for a trip to go see my friend.  The waiting is almost as fun as the trip because I think of all the fun we will have and every time we talk on the phone we are planning the cool things we will do together. 

Lets be honest though.... Sometimes waiting gets incredibly hard. Waiting for an answer from a doctor about the prognosis of a loved one, waiting to hear if family is okay after a car accident, waiting for the body to heal after an injury, for a single person, waiting for a spouse. Even more painful can be waiting for answers from God about broken relationships, loss of a job, or purpose and direction when everything in your life seems to be going wrong. 

The Bible has so much about waiting.  So many promises and hope!  I love this one in Isaiah.

• Isaiah 40:31 -  "but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
  they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
  they shall run and not be weary;
  they shall walk and not faint"  ESV

What we deal with in this world can be truly down right horrible and nearly what seems impossible to bear, but it is all temporary.  We have such a hope beyond all the pain and sorrow and yes.....even the waiting that we must do in this world. 

My small group at church has been studying Hebrews and yesterday a verse just leaped out of the page at me. 

• Hebrews 9:28 - "so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him." NIV

For the first time this verse brought such encouragement.  Jesus came first to wipe away sin and He will come again to bring Salvation to all those who are waiting for Him.  The English Standard Version says "Eagerly waiting for Him"

We have such a loving Savior that has wiped the slate clean for us and continues to do it for us every day as we turn our hearts toward Him. But He did not die and rise again to wipe the slate clean and then leave us.  He is COMING BACK to bring us SALVATION from this sinful planet!  Isn't that SO worth waiting for?

I think the interesting thing is the verse says for those who are waiting.  When we wait we look for something or someone.  So it is an action a state of the heart, waiting.  We don't wait without some expectation, what's the point?  The beautiful thing is God does not abandon us in this waiting. He gives us strength to go on even when others around us may fall because we put our hope in Him and trust Him in everything!

So the next time you wait somewhere or for something.... Remember..... God will give you strength..... and your waiting is not in vain.  He is coming back to save us and be with us forever!  Something TOTALLY worth waiting for Eagerly!