Disappointment: Great Expectations

So I do not have all the answers to disappointment. I think there are many things that we will not fully understand about God for probably a very long time. But I do think God gives us enough evidence to believe if we choose.  Therefore, I attempt to share some of the things recently that have helped me in my disappointment with God.  

My hook for falling into major disappointment with God is my great expectations.  I think God is mighty and powerful and I should be able to expect certain things from Him.  Now this is where things get sticky. Can we expect things from God?.... yes! Can we always be sure of what action God is going to do? .... No. This can become a real problem in discerning, and can quickly get me in trouble because I start to place God in a box, and start predicting what I think God will do or should do.  As if I know His will and plan in detail. 

When we are in pain and struggling with something big in our lives, we want to believe in a big God that will come to our rescue and sweep in and save us like we have read in so many books.  Even many Christian inspirational books are full of stories of miracles and amazing things that happen to people who have prayed and believed.  Their loved one was saved, or cancer cured, or recieved money right before a house was to be foreclosed.

I get caught not so much with earthly things lately but with spiritual things.  I am praying for someone and suddenly things get worse and they are doing worse and seem farther away from God than before I started praying.  Or I try to fast and pray to get closer to God and a veil seems to fall over me and I feel totally disconnected, worse off than when I started.  It's these things where I lose my way.

My thoughts are "God surely wants to save this person.  It has to be His will"  "God surely wants me to draw nearer to Him, this has to be in His will"  Now are these things true? Yes!

• 1 Timothy 2: 3-4 - "This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth" NIV
• James 4:8 - "Come near to God and he will come near to you..." NIV

The problem comes when I take these promises and truths and think God must act a certain way, or I build up in my head the ways I feel He should show Himself and work miracles.  As I pray and do what I think I should then my expectations get bigger and bigger and I climb higher on the ladder that I have built.  My thoughts go from trusting God to trying to will God to do what I think He should. It is so subtle I don't even know I'm doing it sometimes.   Then when things don't work out the way I think, I go into major faith crisis. I go from anger, to blaming myself for not doing the right things, to having issues trusting God.  I think "Why won't God do for me or my love ones what he has done for others?"

What can we expect from God?

• He will never leave us. 
• He will work out things for our best. 
• He will give us the Holy Spirit freely.
• He will forgive us if we confess.
• He will finish the good work He started in us. 
• (I'm sure there are more you could add to the list)

Notice most of these have to do with the internal world and not external.  Even when the scripture says He works things out for good, we think we know what good is, but most of the time God is looking for eternal good not always what our version of good is.  God works in many ways but always with the eternal and spiritual in mind.  And a lot of the times, outside of our understanding as finite human beings.

So how do we as Christians believe in a messed up world and trust even when we have been greatly disappointed?  It is not easy sometimes.  When I was researching this topic the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego came to my mind and what they told King Nebuchadnezzar.

• Daniel 3:17-18 - "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

This is some amazing faith!  They believed that God could totally save them if He wanted to, but they also knew that sometimes He doesn't.  They chose to believe anyway! They trusted that God knew the eternal outcome for good and the physical one was not the most important. They understood that this world is a war zone and with many unhappy endings as it would seem in our small human view.  But that God's view is much bigger and wider able to see the spiritual and eternal importance beyond.  They chose to cling to hope & trust rather than expect a certain outcome in the now.

So I guess for me I realize, in light of my disappointment, that I was building up great expectations and attaching them to my faith.  That somehow if these things don't work out, God is not who He says He is.  The devil loves to try and get us to believe this in our disappointment and pain. I realized I am putting God in a box and demanding He prove Himself to me, rather than trusting the hundreds of other things He has done in my life. I am not believing that no matter what things appear, He IS working things out for good spiritually and eternally beyond my view.

• 2 Corinthians 4:18 - "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" NIV

Great Expectations can get us in trouble but Great Hope (faith) trusts God is who He says He is and will work things out for Good for the spiritual and eternal of all His kids. We can expect God will do HIS thing NOT OUR thing, and one day we will get to see more why.

Disappointment

There are different times in our lives when we face storms.  Most of us now, are dealing with some small irritation or another and all of us have times where we feel like we are in a hurricane and no end seems in sight.  Sometimes it can feel like any form of help is a million miles away and God is silent, or absent.  

One of the things recently in my life that I am realizing very acutely is that I struggle with my expectations of God.  It is a tricky thing, because we are invited by God to believe and hold faith, but in our point of view at certain times, it seems like circumstances line up to just get worse and fall apart. Despite many hours or years of prayer and diligence God seems to be doing nothing, and more pain and suffering ensues.  These times can leave a huge sense of disappointment and questioning of God and God's character. 

Disappointment is:

the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.

So I read this and think "So it is better not to expect or hope for anything?"   In the middle of my storms especially the bad ones, I will sometimes say to God "So I'm not suppose to care?"  To be totally honest,  going through times of great disappointment, are the most fragile times and can be the most pivotal  moments in my relationship with God.

In my disappointment  I will usually want to scream something like "But I am suppose to expect something from you God aren't I?" 

It can be very hard to understand in the midst of pain what we can and can't expect. All through the Bible are amazing stories of God doing huge and mighty things.  We even now, have many books and stories of miracles God has done recently in peoples lives. This builds up huge expectations, and God calls us in the Bible to remember the great things He has done.  Over and over He tells the Israelites to remember how they were rescued from Egypt and brought to the promise land. And in the New Testament there is passage after passage reminding us to remember Jesus and all the mighty things He did.  

The other aspect that is hard to understand in the midst of pain, is that God doesn't always act every time in these huge and mighty ways.  And also there are many stories in the Bible that have this kind of thing too, where people waited years and years to see God's promises fulfilled.  Some never saw it fulfilled but believed anyways.  And still others were killed beheaded, hung upside down on a cross, or tortured without any intervention from God in our perspective.   

So one could vacillate endlessly back and forth about what to expect from God, and honestly lately I have been doing that very thing. I have felt the need to pray for specific things over the last few years and the more I have prayed over these things the worse the circumstances seem to get. For a while I comfort myself with the usual things we say as Christians "The devils is working as well", "Sometimes things have to get worse before it gets better", "God is in control" ..... etc.  You probably know a bunch more.  Don't get me wrong, these things are true, but to a person in pain and huge disappointment they can seem trite, and don't get to the heart of the matter.  Sometimes in our pain we need more.  

So over the next few posts, I would like to explore some tough questions that some of us as Christians have a hard time even uttering, but we all think sometimes.  Mainly, because being honest with ourselves and God is hugely important in a having a viable and growing relationship with God.  I would also input that God is big enough to handle ALL our questions and help us come out the other side stronger in our faith and with greater understanding of Him.  

I believe He longs for us to ask and probably wishes that some of us would get more honest about our doubts and questions about Him and really lay it out to Him so He could draw closer to us. 

• Isaiah 1:18 - "  “Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: ...."ESV