Crumbs and Casting

Being single was hard for me today.  It started out okay but then I started to go through some old photo's of my brother and family when we were kids.  I didn't feel it right away, it just slowly ate at me all day. Then I went to this group I go to 2 times a month, things started to unravel for me.

The group is called Missional Community, and it was fine, I love it . It is a group of christian people in a neighborhood that come together, study the Bible, and focus on service to the community in some way.  Examples, are going to sing at the nursing home, collecting clothes for women's shelter, or bagging food for hungry kids in to take home for weekend. Being with everyone tonight just got to me a little as far as family.

Everyone there, is married with kids. And when I say kids, I mean TON's of kids there is easy more kids than adults and the adults average about 15.  Most times I'm fine, I think tonight after looking at the family pics, subconsciously  it was getting to me that my family is in a big fight right now, and I don't have family of my own. (husband and kids)

Hence, my singleness got to me.  So cried on the way home just cause I long for my family to be healed and for just wishing for connection in this way.  Sometimes, I feel like I get the crumbs.  As a single I long for connection with others, but usually it is what is left after kids and spouses.  And rightly so, but it is hard because a single doesn't come first much to anyone.

I don't need to be the center of attention and neither do I want to be. But I do need connection in more than just a surface way as all singles do. God is this for me most times, but it it is still normal feel this way and important to acknowledge our sadness and hurt.  It opens the door for God to come in and heal us and speak into our hearts His unfailing love.

So yes I cried and am sad for circumstances now in my life, but on my way home the rain seemed to soothe me and God began gently comforting this hurting girl's heart.

1 Peter 5:7 says:
 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

I know God loves me and wants good things for me. So I cast my struggles on Him. As I get ready for bed restfulness and peace come back over me and I feel His gentle hand calming my heart.  I love my God!
He can do the same for you. Will you let Him in?