Burdens, Back Packs, & Getting Real

Authenticity seems to be a hard thing.  We all long for it from someone else, but struggle to be for others.   As women we are many times trained not to be.  We think "No one really wants to see the the deep down ugly side of me"  But being authentic isn't just sharing every dark part of ourselves, but showing we aren't perfect and we struggle sometimes.  None of us want to feel alone in life and being authentic helps other see that they aren't alone. It gives opportunity to lift others up and find healing for ourselves too.

This was on my mind on my way home from work in regards to God.  I began thinking back on all the barriers that used to and still sometimes, keep me from seeing God.  If I would have opened up my proverbial back pack I would have it chuck full of things like:

• Bitterness - from disappointments of life
• Resentment - from people I felt wronged me
• Fear - of nearly everyone and the future
• Self-sufficiency - trying to do everything myself
• Anger - from my past and present life experiences
• Envy- of everyone else I thought had it easier 

And many more I'm sure.  All of these listed rooted in bad experiences and sin in my life that clouded my vision. Instead of being honest with God about my feelings and my life and asking Him to show me His view, I blamed Him for not stopping these bad things from happening and not giving me what I thought I deserved.  Or I would beat myself up for not pulling myself together. I bought into the lies. I was too afraid to be real with God, or I would just yell at Him in my anger rather than really see if He would answer me back. I would pray to Him but really already have my mind made up about Him.

God began to show me He could handle my feelings good and bad and wanted me to be honest with Him in everything.  So I started just talking to Him like He was sitting in the car with me or at the dinner table with me where ever. I learned more and more to be brutally honest. Purging the poison inside my heart, one by one taking everything out of that back pack. It became cathartic really.

This was only half the answer though. The other half was putting down my defenses all my preconceived notions about God and daring to open myself to let Him speak to me and looking and listening for an answer.  A lot of times all my fear or bad relationships of others I would project onto Him, and wouldn't allow myself to see God for who He really is.
   
How many of us really are truly authentic with ourselves and others?  Are we able to be authentic with God or are we hiding?  What things distort your vision?  What is in your back pack that you keep carrying around?

Matthew 11:28-30 says:

• “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” NIV

In other words God says, "Lay down your back pack! Get real with me! And I will give you rest for your soul exactly what you need! For I am gentle and humble. I want to teach you so many good things to bless your life and set you free!"  

Open your heart, lay down your defenses, put down your back pack and tell God what's inside.  Be brutally honest and dare to look for His answers.  It may not be right away or in the traditional sense of communicating, but He will speak and pour out His love to you and commune with you.  It may be through co-workers, or a book, or kind word from a stranger, or through nature, or whatever ways are specific to you.  Look for it, you will be amazed to see what happens!