Disappointment

There are different times in our lives when we face storms.  Most of us now, are dealing with some small irritation or another and all of us have times where we feel like we are in a hurricane and no end seems in sight.  Sometimes it can feel like any form of help is a million miles away and God is silent, or absent.  

One of the things recently in my life that I am realizing very acutely is that I struggle with my expectations of God.  It is a tricky thing, because we are invited by God to believe and hold faith, but in our point of view at certain times, it seems like circumstances line up to just get worse and fall apart. Despite many hours or years of prayer and diligence God seems to be doing nothing, and more pain and suffering ensues.  These times can leave a huge sense of disappointment and questioning of God and God's character. 

Disappointment is:

the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.

So I read this and think "So it is better not to expect or hope for anything?"   In the middle of my storms especially the bad ones, I will sometimes say to God "So I'm not suppose to care?"  To be totally honest,  going through times of great disappointment, are the most fragile times and can be the most pivotal  moments in my relationship with God.

In my disappointment  I will usually want to scream something like "But I am suppose to expect something from you God aren't I?" 

It can be very hard to understand in the midst of pain what we can and can't expect. All through the Bible are amazing stories of God doing huge and mighty things.  We even now, have many books and stories of miracles God has done recently in peoples lives. This builds up huge expectations, and God calls us in the Bible to remember the great things He has done.  Over and over He tells the Israelites to remember how they were rescued from Egypt and brought to the promise land. And in the New Testament there is passage after passage reminding us to remember Jesus and all the mighty things He did.  

The other aspect that is hard to understand in the midst of pain, is that God doesn't always act every time in these huge and mighty ways.  And also there are many stories in the Bible that have this kind of thing too, where people waited years and years to see God's promises fulfilled.  Some never saw it fulfilled but believed anyways.  And still others were killed beheaded, hung upside down on a cross, or tortured without any intervention from God in our perspective.   

So one could vacillate endlessly back and forth about what to expect from God, and honestly lately I have been doing that very thing. I have felt the need to pray for specific things over the last few years and the more I have prayed over these things the worse the circumstances seem to get. For a while I comfort myself with the usual things we say as Christians "The devils is working as well", "Sometimes things have to get worse before it gets better", "God is in control" ..... etc.  You probably know a bunch more.  Don't get me wrong, these things are true, but to a person in pain and huge disappointment they can seem trite, and don't get to the heart of the matter.  Sometimes in our pain we need more.  

So over the next few posts, I would like to explore some tough questions that some of us as Christians have a hard time even uttering, but we all think sometimes.  Mainly, because being honest with ourselves and God is hugely important in a having a viable and growing relationship with God.  I would also input that God is big enough to handle ALL our questions and help us come out the other side stronger in our faith and with greater understanding of Him.  

I believe He longs for us to ask and probably wishes that some of us would get more honest about our doubts and questions about Him and really lay it out to Him so He could draw closer to us. 

• Isaiah 1:18 - "  “Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: ...."ESV