Trust Me

My heart has been hurting a lot lately. There are times in each of our lives that we feel down or discouraged. I feel the pain of a couple of close people to me.  I identify with their suffering and questions.  I long to reach them but they barrier themselves up because of their pain or disappointment.  They can only see their pain they cannot see past it.

Boy do I identify with these feelings.  I have been several times in places where all I could see was my suffering.  I had no idea the damage my own suffering was causing to those around me.  Anyone that tired to help I would fight and argue with  because I was too afraid to let anyone touch that wounded part of me. But deep down I longed to be set free and be healed. 

I know what awful games the devil plays with our minds and even still I find myself getting stuck in these patterns of thinking starting to believe the lies he spins for us. "No one will understand you" "you'll never be good enough" "Everyone thinks you're crazy" "God loves them more than you" "If you tell them how you feel, they will leave you"

Ever heard those lines before?

My heart just aches for these loved ones and for the wake of destruction this kind of thinking is doing in their lives.  I have tried to talk with them but they still seem so stuck.  

So this last couple weeks I have just cried and cried over it. I long for God to step in and wake up their hearts to see His love and a way out.  But it seems that things just get worse and more people are getting hurt.  It seems as if all my prayers are in vain and nothing breaks through. 

It is hard in times like these for me to keep the faith.  I feel God saying to me just keep trusting me. I just want to say like David saying "How long oh Lord!"  But you know what I love about David... He was so honest about his feelings to God and just laid them at God's feet.  In the end he always found hope in His loving God. Psalms 13 is one of my favorites.

"How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
 Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
 and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
 I will sing the Lord ’s praise,
for he has been good to me" NIV

In some way God speaks to David and reminds him of all He had done  for David and says "Trust Me, Remember all the times I have been good to you, just trust me"  David remembers and says. Despite what I see and feel "I will trust in your unfailing love......for he has been good to me"

Psalms has a way of soothing my soul in rough times. It helps me to see I can be totally honest with God and tell Him how I feel.  I don't have to pretend with Him.   When I lay these burdens at His feet, He will lift me up and remind me to hang on and trust Him because of all He has done and His unfailing love.

Now my heart still hurts and I will keep longing for these loved ones,  but God reminds me that He has unfailing love not just for me but for my loved ones as well. That He has not forgotten my prayers or missed one tear I've cried. He gently whispers "Trust Me" " Remember what I've done in the past for you and trust me"

Many of you, I know struggle with much harder things than this. God see's everything we go through and His heart breaks too for the things sin does to us in this world. He longs for us to reach out to Him in everything with total honesty of heart. He knows He is the only one that can save us from this world of sin and pain.  He holds out His hand and says "trust me, I know it seems unbearable but trust me" "I am your hope and your salvation. My love is unfailing! I will lift you up!"

God knows that if we will chose to trust Him, we will have peace. If we chose to believe what He promises and has shown us over and over again in His actions of sacrifice and love, we can have peace!  It may not change the longing but now it can be cradled in hope in our loving God!

So this morning I'm reminded to lay this pain and fear for my loved ones down at God's feet. Reminded of my God's love for me i relax a little. I chose to trust Him, even as I type this entry and make this decision to believe in my God over what I feel and see, peace is washing over me. 

It is an interesting thing choice. Choice must come first sometimes before the peace.

So lay your heart out to God in your struggles, whatever they might be.  He sees you and hears you and so longs to draw close. He wants to give you hope in the midst of your suffering.  Reach to Him and know His unfailing love!  He has not forgotten you or hidden His face. Choose to trust Him and you will find peace.