This season is soooooooo busy, and for me,
this year is even more so because I'm driving farther to work than
usual. So this is why I haven't blogged for a week or so. But along
with that, I have had a big storm in my life as well.
Those
of you that have read my blog from the beginning, know that there is a
big rift in my family. Two sides that, over something small, have been
at odds for almost 2 years. This makes the Holiday's harder for me
being in the middle trying to be family to both sides. This combined
with a huge communication problem at work has consumed my thinking over
the last week and a half.
Sometimes
when I get my head wrapped around some things, it is so hard to let go
of them. I'm a problem solver by nature and long for harmony, so I get
trapped sometimes in circular thinking of conversations and words that
could be said or things to do to bring back balance. Sometimes they are
good ideas and sometimes they are not because they come out of a place
of anger and frustration.
Both
work and family things, I brought before God and asked for answers of
what I should say or if I should say anything. I desperately wanted God
to write in the sky for me. Now in saying this, whether I want to
admit it or not at the moment, there is another part of me that secretly
hopes God doesn't answer so I can do what I want to do. However, in
the past I have made that mistake and had everything blow up severely in
my face and destroy relationships. So I'm learning but the waiting is
miserable sometimes and I start feeling that God has forgotten me.
I
was feeling so much this way. I wanted God's answer and to hear Him
telling me the best way to go. The work situation I kind of waited and
then took over some. Part way through, I begged God to help. It worked
out but went rough. And the family one, God never gave me the green
light to speak and I waited in agony feeling awful, trying to not loose
faith in His love and desire to speak to me.
Sometimes
in situations like these I am so blinded! He was speaking to me all
along trying to show me He was there. Someone that I rarely talk to
texted me and told me they missed me, one of my pt.'s looked right at me
and told me I was so pretty, others at church that I normally don't
talk with that often, came to talk with me. All these things, signs,
God mobilizing the world around me to reach me in my pain. Then last
night, I learned the very family member I wanted to talk to was already
making an effort to mend fences in the family! Without any word or
effort on my part, God working.
How easily I forget..... but I'm learning..... Every Good and Perfect Gift is from God!
- James 1:17 - " Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows" NIV
Everyone that opens the door for you, everyone
that smiles at you, everyone that lets you merge in crazy traffic, every
flower, every hug, every warm bed and cup of coffee, heartwarming
tune.....ALL of it! Is God taking a moment to whisper He loves you and
has not forgotten you!
He does not say to us "I love you
today..... but don't know about tomorrow" He does not change in His
affection for us! The devil tries to make us believe those lies, with
the struggles on this earth, but God does not change. And Every Good
Thing is a direct message of Love to YOU from Him! He is Always
Faithful! Even when answers don't seem clear, there are signs He is
there.
So I hope this Christmas you will look around
you and see with your heart how much God loves you and is telling YOU,
through Every Good and Perfect Gift He gives you this season and
always!
God Bless :)
And God Be Forever Praised for all He gives and has given!
Kori
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