Disappointment: Pain

Another question that I'm sure at one point or an other we have thought these things. "God why all this pain?"  "Why must I endure and suffer all this pain?" "Why must the world suffer all this pain?" "Being a all loving God how can you watch all this pain and not do something?" I know I have thought this things, and I can probably put money on the fact I will probably think it again at some point.  

I had one person say to me one time "How can God look into the face of an innocent child and not save them from pain and suffering?"  " How could He not rush to help them?" "How could He let such awful things happen to then?" Honestly in that moment I had no idea what to say.  When we think about it don't all of us in some way want to scream this from the top of our lungs some times too.  "How can you let such evil happen God?"

There are 2 things that I have come to understand a little better in my search to understand disappointment with God and pain.  The first thing is that if we have all powerful God and a all loving God to the purest sense, then we have one thing for sure.  This one thing is that Love in its most purest form is not coercive.  Now if someone would ask me if love was coercive I would obviously say no, but I will have to give credit for this thought and say I heard this idea from a wonderful sermon from Ty Gibson called, Through Tears.

True an utter love is not coercive.  True love is not generated by coercive tactics.  You can't hold someone at gun point and say "love me!" and suddenly their heart goes a flutter for you.  Their heart my flutter for sure out of fear, and they might even say they love you, but they would not Really love you. If you really want someone to truly love you, you have to show love to them and try and draw them by your love.  You have to give them freedom right?

If true love requires freedom then there has to be choice. There has to be an option to walk the other way away from love.  You could love someone soooo much and long for them to love you and do all these great things for them, but they could still choose to walk away from you.  So then love is risky.

This is how Ty writes it Love=Freedom=Risk.  

This concept seems so simple but honestly is very deep if you think about it.  It blew the lid off my jar of cranky complaints against God.  For it helped me see how an All Powerful  & LOVING God could have a world like ours, like Ty would say, "On His hands".  Pain exists because God will not force anyone to love Him.  

This brings me to my other thought.  As a medical professional I see  a lot of people with pain.  Nearly every person I see is suffering from pain and looking to me to help them get better.  Now is pain a bad thing? Well.... in some ways yes... but is pain always bad? No.  From the physical side of things pain can be a very good thing.  It warns the body something is wrong.  Pain saves lives many times! If you get a huge gash in your leg and you have no pain you could bleed out and die before you noticed enough to get help. 

Honestly, even emotional pain is a warning system that tells us something is wrong and we need help.  Even emotional pain can and will kill us from the inside out if we don't get help.  Pain in many ways is a gift and an opportunity to get the help we need to survive.  

Now looking at pain from a broader perspective gets a little harder.  We look at our world and see that their are innocent people being tortured, killed, displace from their homes, starving, living in war zones.  If we thought of the world like the human body, this would be warning signs that there is something majorly wrong. This world has a huge infection and needs help.  Are you following me?  Its true right?  Most of us would agree with this.  

So an all powerful God made this world and man, but because He is all loving as well, He gave freedom.  He was up front and told Adam and Eve there is a disease out there that will kill you.  "If you do this one thing you will be infected and die." But He didn't force them to stay in His love, He gave them freedom.  True to the all loving God He is. We know the story.... Adam and Eve chose to turn away from God and the horrible infection started for the whole of the human race, Sin.  

We are lovers of sin, but God knows this is fatal.  But He allowed freedom because He is a God of true love.  He restrains Himself from just vaporizing us, because He first loved us.  He longs to save us from our condition but He still has to allow freedom.  So He made a plan to cure our disease.  Jesus!

• John 3:16-17 - " For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him" NIV

So He personally sacrifices Himself!  This All powerful & All loving God permanently marries Himself to the Human race because He SO loves us.  And as pure love would do, is willing to die and take on the whole worlds infection to cure us!  And hopefully show us how much He loves us so we will chose to love Him and be saved!

This is the true message of the Gospel!  Why the Gospel is such Good News Right!!!  So in some ways we can begin to understand and believe that This all powerful God is truly All Loving and does hurt with everyone of us suffering on this planet, but also doesn't take all pain away because each person has choice.  Pain is an indication we need our savior and we live in a war zone. You cannot expect that your life will be peachy in a war zone. We have an infection each one of us.  But God does not force anyone to choose love over hate.  It is not love if it is by force.  So we have ones that chose love and ones that don't.  This is war.  We suffer and have pain.... but honestly in a way it is a gift because it lets us know something is wrong and we need to turn to Jesus!!!

Paul in his ministry talks about a thorn in his side and that he asks God 3 times to take it away.  God tells him this:

• 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 - "   But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." NIV

I look at this verse in a whole new light.  God says "No" to Paul 3 times in his hardship.  Are you feeling like that?  Are you having some major pain in your life and you are begging God to remove it?  God seems to be telling you "No" over and over?  Take courage!  Paul suffered the same!  God told him basically "Paul, I know this is hard for you but I will help you to endure this" "My grace is sufficient for you!"  "When you are feeling your worse and the world is pressing in and you feel totally weak and helpless, I will show my power to the world when you are at your weakest!"  He told Paul "your suffering is not in vain, and I will help you through, and reach many others through it"

Isn't that the truth so many times.  We are inspired and see the love and power of God when someone else that suffers way more than us witnesses for Jesus and finds ways to show the world Jesus love despite their disability or horrible abuse done to them or losing several loved ones to war.  Don't we look at them and realize in the deepest part of our hearts there HAS to be a Loving, powerful, and Amazing God out there if some can endure all that and still witness and do all they do despite all that has happened to them? I know I sure do! 

So in my search recently, I have to say and beg to point out that pain is relative.  And in many ways pain can be a gift to us and this human race.  I know some one reading this may want to punch me for saying that, especially if in the middle of major pain in life,  but I challenge you to really think about it.  God has the cure!  It isn't to remove all of pain in this world it is to surgically remove the cancer eating our souls. It Will be painful, we Will suffer, not because He wants us to.  Its about saving us spiritually and eternally from the inside out, not from the outside in.  Pain is relative, but doesn't ever have to be in vain.  Ultimately Christ suffered most so we could suffer less! Remember, God's grace is sufficient for you too! Take courage!

Disappointment: Great Expectations

So I do not have all the answers to disappointment. I think there are many things that we will not fully understand about God for probably a very long time. But I do think God gives us enough evidence to believe if we choose.  Therefore, I attempt to share some of the things recently that have helped me in my disappointment with God.  

My hook for falling into major disappointment with God is my great expectations.  I think God is mighty and powerful and I should be able to expect certain things from Him.  Now this is where things get sticky. Can we expect things from God?.... yes! Can we always be sure of what action God is going to do? .... No. This can become a real problem in discerning, and can quickly get me in trouble because I start to place God in a box, and start predicting what I think God will do or should do.  As if I know His will and plan in detail. 

When we are in pain and struggling with something big in our lives, we want to believe in a big God that will come to our rescue and sweep in and save us like we have read in so many books.  Even many Christian inspirational books are full of stories of miracles and amazing things that happen to people who have prayed and believed.  Their loved one was saved, or cancer cured, or recieved money right before a house was to be foreclosed.

I get caught not so much with earthly things lately but with spiritual things.  I am praying for someone and suddenly things get worse and they are doing worse and seem farther away from God than before I started praying.  Or I try to fast and pray to get closer to God and a veil seems to fall over me and I feel totally disconnected, worse off than when I started.  It's these things where I lose my way.

My thoughts are "God surely wants to save this person.  It has to be His will"  "God surely wants me to draw nearer to Him, this has to be in His will"  Now are these things true? Yes!

• 1 Timothy 2: 3-4 - "This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth" NIV
• James 4:8 - "Come near to God and he will come near to you..." NIV

The problem comes when I take these promises and truths and think God must act a certain way, or I build up in my head the ways I feel He should show Himself and work miracles.  As I pray and do what I think I should then my expectations get bigger and bigger and I climb higher on the ladder that I have built.  My thoughts go from trusting God to trying to will God to do what I think He should. It is so subtle I don't even know I'm doing it sometimes.   Then when things don't work out the way I think, I go into major faith crisis. I go from anger, to blaming myself for not doing the right things, to having issues trusting God.  I think "Why won't God do for me or my love ones what he has done for others?"

What can we expect from God?

• He will never leave us. 
• He will work out things for our best. 
• He will give us the Holy Spirit freely.
• He will forgive us if we confess.
• He will finish the good work He started in us. 
• (I'm sure there are more you could add to the list)

Notice most of these have to do with the internal world and not external.  Even when the scripture says He works things out for good, we think we know what good is, but most of the time God is looking for eternal good not always what our version of good is.  God works in many ways but always with the eternal and spiritual in mind.  And a lot of the times, outside of our understanding as finite human beings.

So how do we as Christians believe in a messed up world and trust even when we have been greatly disappointed?  It is not easy sometimes.  When I was researching this topic the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego came to my mind and what they told King Nebuchadnezzar.

• Daniel 3:17-18 - "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

This is some amazing faith!  They believed that God could totally save them if He wanted to, but they also knew that sometimes He doesn't.  They chose to believe anyway! They trusted that God knew the eternal outcome for good and the physical one was not the most important. They understood that this world is a war zone and with many unhappy endings as it would seem in our small human view.  But that God's view is much bigger and wider able to see the spiritual and eternal importance beyond.  They chose to cling to hope & trust rather than expect a certain outcome in the now.

So I guess for me I realize, in light of my disappointment, that I was building up great expectations and attaching them to my faith.  That somehow if these things don't work out, God is not who He says He is.  The devil loves to try and get us to believe this in our disappointment and pain. I realized I am putting God in a box and demanding He prove Himself to me, rather than trusting the hundreds of other things He has done in my life. I am not believing that no matter what things appear, He IS working things out for good spiritually and eternally beyond my view.

• 2 Corinthians 4:18 - "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" NIV

Great Expectations can get us in trouble but Great Hope (faith) trusts God is who He says He is and will work things out for Good for the spiritual and eternal of all His kids. We can expect God will do HIS thing NOT OUR thing, and one day we will get to see more why.

Disappointment

There are different times in our lives when we face storms.  Most of us now, are dealing with some small irritation or another and all of us have times where we feel like we are in a hurricane and no end seems in sight.  Sometimes it can feel like any form of help is a million miles away and God is silent, or absent.  

One of the things recently in my life that I am realizing very acutely is that I struggle with my expectations of God.  It is a tricky thing, because we are invited by God to believe and hold faith, but in our point of view at certain times, it seems like circumstances line up to just get worse and fall apart. Despite many hours or years of prayer and diligence God seems to be doing nothing, and more pain and suffering ensues.  These times can leave a huge sense of disappointment and questioning of God and God's character. 

Disappointment is:

the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.

So I read this and think "So it is better not to expect or hope for anything?"   In the middle of my storms especially the bad ones, I will sometimes say to God "So I'm not suppose to care?"  To be totally honest,  going through times of great disappointment, are the most fragile times and can be the most pivotal  moments in my relationship with God.

In my disappointment  I will usually want to scream something like "But I am suppose to expect something from you God aren't I?" 

It can be very hard to understand in the midst of pain what we can and can't expect. All through the Bible are amazing stories of God doing huge and mighty things.  We even now, have many books and stories of miracles God has done recently in peoples lives. This builds up huge expectations, and God calls us in the Bible to remember the great things He has done.  Over and over He tells the Israelites to remember how they were rescued from Egypt and brought to the promise land. And in the New Testament there is passage after passage reminding us to remember Jesus and all the mighty things He did.  

The other aspect that is hard to understand in the midst of pain, is that God doesn't always act every time in these huge and mighty ways.  And also there are many stories in the Bible that have this kind of thing too, where people waited years and years to see God's promises fulfilled.  Some never saw it fulfilled but believed anyways.  And still others were killed beheaded, hung upside down on a cross, or tortured without any intervention from God in our perspective.   

So one could vacillate endlessly back and forth about what to expect from God, and honestly lately I have been doing that very thing. I have felt the need to pray for specific things over the last few years and the more I have prayed over these things the worse the circumstances seem to get. For a while I comfort myself with the usual things we say as Christians "The devils is working as well", "Sometimes things have to get worse before it gets better", "God is in control" ..... etc.  You probably know a bunch more.  Don't get me wrong, these things are true, but to a person in pain and huge disappointment they can seem trite, and don't get to the heart of the matter.  Sometimes in our pain we need more.  

So over the next few posts, I would like to explore some tough questions that some of us as Christians have a hard time even uttering, but we all think sometimes.  Mainly, because being honest with ourselves and God is hugely important in a having a viable and growing relationship with God.  I would also input that God is big enough to handle ALL our questions and help us come out the other side stronger in our faith and with greater understanding of Him.  

I believe He longs for us to ask and probably wishes that some of us would get more honest about our doubts and questions about Him and really lay it out to Him so He could draw closer to us. 

• Isaiah 1:18 - "  “Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: ...."ESV

 

Stronger

Testing..... I would say probably most of us do not like testing of any kind. Especially tests in school growing up.  As adults in our jobs we might have testing as well to keep up our skills or learn new things and show compliance for a new skills needed for our jobs.  Whatever the situation or reason for the test, it usually is not fun and just the thought may cause some of us to sweat. :) I know I do. 

The hardest kind of testing for me, hands down, is the testing of life circumstances and relationships. All the things in life that get difficult can be hard, but the struggles in relationships are the hardest for me. Especially, when it happens with people closest to me. With all of us, this kind of testing can hurt the most. 

The Bible talks about the testing of people's faith.  Abraham is an example.  Job is another one. There are many who have faced the trials and difficulties of life and had their faith tested.  I have heard some people say "Why does God test our faith, doesn't he know?"  Yes He does.  But I guess the better question is, if He knows what our faith is, then why does He test it or allow things to happen to try our faith?  Maybe it is more for us to discover what our faith really is.   

I know for me, if things are going well and I'm floating along, it doesn't take long with my sinful nature to think I'm a pillar of faith.  It is when trials come in my life, the really acutely painful ones, that show me what my faith is really worth.  A lot of times I stand in awe and shame that I puffed myself up and thought I was so strong. I see over and over that instead of truly trusting in God in everything like I thought I was, it doesn't take much to turn the tables and for me to doubt God like the Israelites in the desert.

There is a serious battle going on for our hearts.  It is not that God does not care, or wants us to go through tons of pain and heart ache.  But He knows that our sinful condition is fatal, if we don't rest all our hope and trust in Him.  Allowing this "testing of faith" burns out the impurities in our hearts and teaches us the reality of the status of our heart with God, if we let it.  It becomes an opportunity to grow and be more perfected in our faith.  

I know I have used this verse before and probably in a similar way discussed this topic, but I know I need repeated reminders in this area and maybe some of you do too.  And in times like these this verse always helps to put things in better perspective for me.

• James 1:2-4 - "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything"  NIV

At the end and sometimes in the middle of trial "testing" , it can give me a different and better perspective on where I really am with God and especially my true trust level with Him.  God is jealous for us.... For ALL of Us... Our whole heart.... not just a piece of it.  He knows our tendencies and where we slip back into old habits, and He knows the devil is out trying to take us down and rip us and our faith to shreds.  He wants us to see that no matter what trials we face can trust Him and be mature and complete in our faith.

So the verse says "Let perseverance finish its work".  This is what I tell myself this morning in the midst of my testing.  Instead of fighting the pain and wishing this trial would be over cause it hurts so much, I need to trust God and let the pain of perseverance finish its work.  For the proverbial "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger"  Holds true by the loving hand of our God if we let Him.  Even when we don't understand why we must go through what we are going through.  We get stronger in faith in Jesus and that He is fighting the fight for us and has already won.  

Courage for you this day in the testing of your faith!

Lens of Love

So lenses are very amazing things.  They are able to take in light and show and image to the viewer.   In photography, the lens makes all the difference on what you see.  Things can appear totally different than what they really are.  There are lenses with glass that warps an image to be really close up and the edges far away, or one that makes things close seem far away, or even with certain colors prominent. 

My lens or lack of lens has been a little skewed lately. Have you had times like that?  You know like you have a good friend and they seem a little distant, or a brother or a sister you are close to said something that seemed a little off, or a co-worker you normally get along great with seems to not like one of your ideas.  It kinda messes with us doesn't it.  

In theses situations we have choices right?  Based on our experience with them and the truth we know, we can choose what we do with the things that seem not good.  We choose to believe what we see on this one occasion as the truth, or we can choose to believe what we know about and have seen from the past. We can decide what lens we will look at the situation.

Now we were meant to be able to look at the world with pure clean lenses.  God made man to see the world as it really is, a beautiful gift of love from our creator. But the Devil had other plans to come and distort or vision and inject sin into this world.  And we all know sin as flipped this world upside down.  Now what is right, SEEMS wrong, and whats wrong, SEEMS right.  

The beautiful thing about God is that He gave us a lens that helps flip the image we think we see into the image it really is.  

JESUS

• John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." NIV

So when we think life is too much and we are doomed, we aren't! Thinking about this Love of God by giving us Jesus, doesn't this have the capacity to change our view?  Of  COURSE! 

So all those people you know that may have let you down sometimes or done something that didn't feel good. If you choose to look through the lens of love, that they love you, you can trust them.  Then you know that even when things a little off, you can trust their love for you.   You are able to still move forward in the relationship with them even when things aren't perfect.

It is the same with God!  God does so much for us every day from the warm bed we sleep in at night, to the flowers outside, to fuzzy little mongrel that welcomes you when you come home from work! But besides the things we enjoy now God has given us JESUS! He gave us Jesus to show us His great and abounding love for us beyond question!!!!  So even if our warm bed is taken from us, or the flowers forget to bloom, or the fuzzy mongrel is no more, that we can look to and through the Jesus and this Great Love, to know that God looks out for us and will not abandon us!

So as usual and as many of us do sometimes, I got down about life circumstances.  In times like these, I lose my lens.  I decide to try and look at the word and my circumstances through my own eyes and start doubting God's love for me. I get lost in the lack of a spouse or kid when all my friends have one, or in dissatisfaction with my job or family.  Instead of stopping and taking the time to look through the lens of Jesus.  I cry out to God and say "why is everything so messed up!!!"  And God gently reminds me "Remember My Love"  "Look to and through the lens of My Love, Jesus"

I was sitting in church yesterday and I was listening to the music being played for the offertory "Redeemed".  The line that always touches me is "Redeemed how I love to proclaim it, HIS CHILD AND FOREVER I AM" 

With that kind of love, how can we not want to look through the lens of love always!  I pray for you and for me that we get better at choosing the lens of love, over any other in this world.  God bless you this week!  Amen!

Singing Over You!

"The Lord your God is in your midst,
 a mighty one who will save;
 he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing"

Zephaniah 3:17 ESV

I was just recently introduced to this verse.  I just so love the picture it paints of God.  That He rejoices over us as His kids!  That He quiets us with His love and is so overwhelmed with love for us He sings loudly over us!  

Can you imaging God walking around heaven saying your name and how much He loves you and starts singing in joy over you and the relationship you have together, like a Dad sings to his kids to comfort them, or be playful with them, or be proud of them because they are HIS kids!  

Dear friends in Christ!  Please know this today that God loves to sing over you!  May you be encouraged this day! 

Trust Me

My heart has been hurting a lot lately. There are times in each of our lives that we feel down or discouraged. I feel the pain of a couple of close people to me.  I identify with their suffering and questions.  I long to reach them but they barrier themselves up because of their pain or disappointment.  They can only see their pain they cannot see past it.

Boy do I identify with these feelings.  I have been several times in places where all I could see was my suffering.  I had no idea the damage my own suffering was causing to those around me.  Anyone that tired to help I would fight and argue with  because I was too afraid to let anyone touch that wounded part of me. But deep down I longed to be set free and be healed. 

I know what awful games the devil plays with our minds and even still I find myself getting stuck in these patterns of thinking starting to believe the lies he spins for us. "No one will understand you" "you'll never be good enough" "Everyone thinks you're crazy" "God loves them more than you" "If you tell them how you feel, they will leave you"

Ever heard those lines before?

My heart just aches for these loved ones and for the wake of destruction this kind of thinking is doing in their lives.  I have tried to talk with them but they still seem so stuck.  

So this last couple weeks I have just cried and cried over it. I long for God to step in and wake up their hearts to see His love and a way out.  But it seems that things just get worse and more people are getting hurt.  It seems as if all my prayers are in vain and nothing breaks through. 

It is hard in times like these for me to keep the faith.  I feel God saying to me just keep trusting me. I just want to say like David saying "How long oh Lord!"  But you know what I love about David... He was so honest about his feelings to God and just laid them at God's feet.  In the end he always found hope in His loving God. Psalms 13 is one of my favorites.

"How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
 Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
 and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
 I will sing the Lord ’s praise,
for he has been good to me" NIV

In some way God speaks to David and reminds him of all He had done  for David and says "Trust Me, Remember all the times I have been good to you, just trust me"  David remembers and says. Despite what I see and feel "I will trust in your unfailing love......for he has been good to me"

Psalms has a way of soothing my soul in rough times. It helps me to see I can be totally honest with God and tell Him how I feel.  I don't have to pretend with Him.   When I lay these burdens at His feet, He will lift me up and remind me to hang on and trust Him because of all He has done and His unfailing love.

Now my heart still hurts and I will keep longing for these loved ones,  but God reminds me that He has unfailing love not just for me but for my loved ones as well. That He has not forgotten my prayers or missed one tear I've cried. He gently whispers "Trust Me" " Remember what I've done in the past for you and trust me"

Many of you, I know struggle with much harder things than this. God see's everything we go through and His heart breaks too for the things sin does to us in this world. He longs for us to reach out to Him in everything with total honesty of heart. He knows He is the only one that can save us from this world of sin and pain.  He holds out His hand and says "trust me, I know it seems unbearable but trust me" "I am your hope and your salvation. My love is unfailing! I will lift you up!"

God knows that if we will chose to trust Him, we will have peace. If we chose to believe what He promises and has shown us over and over again in His actions of sacrifice and love, we can have peace!  It may not change the longing but now it can be cradled in hope in our loving God!

So this morning I'm reminded to lay this pain and fear for my loved ones down at God's feet. Reminded of my God's love for me i relax a little. I chose to trust Him, even as I type this entry and make this decision to believe in my God over what I feel and see, peace is washing over me. 

It is an interesting thing choice. Choice must come first sometimes before the peace.

So lay your heart out to God in your struggles, whatever they might be.  He sees you and hears you and so longs to draw close. He wants to give you hope in the midst of your suffering.  Reach to Him and know His unfailing love!  He has not forgotten you or hidden His face. Choose to trust Him and you will find peace.